The Most Annoying Type of Facebook Poster on Earth

                Okay, tonight I’m taking a break from writing profound life changing pieces (well, at least I’d like to think so) and address a major Facebook pet peeve. 

                I cannot stand people who post statuses exploring volatile topics, then let their friends rip each other’s throats out.  It’s like someone hurling a bone into a pack of wild dogs, then sitting back to watch the show.

                These posters fall under three main categories.  The first always acts innocent, like they didn’t know they poured gasoline on a fire.  As if someone in this country doesn’t know that say, bringing up abortion, is bound to cause bloodshed.  They tend to post things like, “I didn’t know posting this would cause so much trouble,” after literally half their Facebook friends are lying torn and bloody on the ground.  Metaphorically, of course.

                Really?   You were unaware that posting about a controversial topic would get people all riled up?  My ass.

                The second type will only engage with people who agree with them, and sit by to watch while anyone who disagrees is bullied, ganged up on, and hounded.  They will ignore any rational argument that counters their position, pretending they don’t see it, while embracing anything that supports their point.  Friendships mean nothing to them.  You could have been friends with them since seventh grade homeroom, but because you have a different position about gay marriage, they’ll watch a handful of acquaintances eat you alive.

                The third type posts and then vanishes.  Like they just threw an enormous steak into a lion’s den and ran away to watch from a distance.  They go AWOL from their own post.

                Why does this drive me nuts?  If you’re going to frigging post something political (and these days everything that causes controversy is political) then have the integrity and fortitude to moderate the damn discussion.  This is the Facebook equivalent of throwing a party.  You wouldn’t throw open the doors to your entire neighborhood, provide them with alcohol, and take off expecting everyone to behave, would you?  No.  You would take responsibility for your guests.

                I am a passionate, emotional individual.  Because of this, I try to avoid posting political statuses and memes on my page.  Yeah, some sneak through, especially the ones I find clever, or especially truthful.  I would be lying if I said I never post anything political.  But, rest assured, should a fire break out on my page, I would attempt to put it out.  Even if that meant deleting the post that caused the uproar.  I’ve known friends who have done this.  If you set the brooms dancing, and you don’t know how to make them stop, pull the plug.

                I am not perfect, which is why this kind of Facebook poster drives me bonkers.  Despite all my lofty aspirations, I often degenerate into the kind of name calling behavior I abhor.  Nine times out of ten, I can maintain rational discourse, but when I’m arguing with someone who is harassing me with “your stupid,” “your ugly,” “your going to hell,” I find myself sinking down to their level.  I probably should just block them (and sometimes do) but I have a genetic predisposition that compels me to have the last word.  This has gotten me into loads of trouble over the years.  Like some people can’t resist that last drink, or just another cigarette, I must have the last word.  I feel that I’ve won when that happens, like it’s a competition.  Stupid, because rationally I know I’ve won nothing, but the feeling of satisfaction that ensues gives me a high second to none.  I’m serious here.  A psychologist would have a field day.

                I’m digressing though.  Posting political shit with no follow through is a seriously annoying behavior.  It’s like that gossipy coworker who always causes trouble but somehow manages to keep themselves out of it.  We all know that person.  They will yap their gums until the shit hits the fan, then hold up their hands and say, “I’m not involved.”  Dude are you kidding?  You caused the whole thing.

                You can absolutely post whatever you want on your Facebook page.  It’s YOUR page.  However, people can respond.  That’s what Facebook is all about.  Don’t be an ass and act like you didn’t know you were stirring up a hornet’s nest.  Unless you’re a real dweeb, you know what you’re doing.  Take some responsibility and own your part in it.